I Just Want You Around

Go listen to Snoh Aalegra's "I Want You Around." Let it play through. Then come back.

This song has a way of recirculating on my playlist like clockwork. Just when I think I've moved past it, just when I'm shuffling through my library looking for something new, there it is again. And lately, more than ever, it resonates with me in a way I sometimes struggle to articulate.

Maybe it's because we're in February, caught between celebrating Black history and navigating the commercialized chaos of love month. Or maybe it's because I'm in a season of constant evolution, shedding old versions of myself like snakeskin, becoming someone I'm still getting to know. Whatever the reason, this song has become the soundtrack to a truth I'm finally ready to speak out loud:

I'm not looking for commitment. I'm not looking for exclusivity. I'm not looking for someone to build a life with right now.

I just want you around.

The Revolution of "Just"

Let me be clear about something: when I say "just," I don't mean "settling." I don't mean "less than." I mean exactly what Snoh means when she sings it: something specific, something intentional, something that honors where I am right now.

I want someone to experience life with. Someone to laugh with over palm trees and beach views. Someone to sit next to while Innervisions plays on repeat. Someone who adds joy to my ordinary days without requiring me to restructure my entire existence around their presence.

Some level of consideration?

Yes.

Thoughtfulness?

Absolutely.

Respect for each other's time and energy?

Of course.

But am I taking you into consideration when I'm making decisions about my life and what direction I want to take?

No. And that's not cruel; that's honest.

Want vs. Need vs. Own vs. Mine

Here's what this song taught me that I'm still learning to live out:

There's a difference between wanting someone and needing them.

There's a difference between experiencing someone and possessing them.

There's a difference between enjoying someone's company and making them yours.

For so long, we've been taught that love equals ownership. That commitment means altering your life trajectory to accommodate someone else's. That if you really care about someone, you should need them, claim them, make them an essential part of your decision-making process.

But what if that's not the only way? What if there's power in saying: "I want you around, but I don't need you. I enjoy you, but I don't own you. I value your presence, but you're not mine to keep"?

That's not coldness. That's freedom, for both of us.

Experiencing Without Possession

"I don't wanna kiss you / I just wanna feel you."

This line used to confuse me. Now it makes perfect sense.

Sometimes what you want isn't physical intimacy or romantic entanglement. Sometimes what you want is to feel someone's energy, to experience their laughter, to know what it's like to exist in the same space as them without it having to mean anything more than what it is in that moment.

You can experience someone without possessing them. You can be experienced by someone without losing yourself. You can share time, space, music, conversation, even affection — without it becoming something that fundamentally alters the direction of your life.

"You complete me even though I'm whole on my own."

That's the key. I'm whole. I'm complete. I'm building my own legacy, carving out my own space, becoming my own person. And in this season of my evolution, I'm learning that I can invite people into my world without making them the center of it.

The Honesty of "Around"

What I love most about this song is its honesty about what it's asking for. Not forever. Not commitment. Not "be mine." Just...around.

I want you around this year, next year, every year — but not necessarily as my partner, my significant other, my person. As someone who's present, who shows up, who exists in my orbit without demanding I revolve around theirs.

That's the kind of connection I'm open to right now. The kind where we can ride down the highway with Stevie on replay, where we can two-step until we can't no more, where we can get older side by side — but where neither of us is sacrificing our individual journeys for the sake of "us."

Love in the Month of Love

So here we are in February, the month when everyone's supposed to be coupled up, locked down, exclusive and committed. And I'm over here like Snoh, saying something that feels revolutionary in its simplicity:

I just want you around.

Not need. Not own. Not mine.

Around.

And maybe that's my legacy for this Love & Legacy series: the courage to be honest about what kind of connection I'm actually available for. The freedom to want companionship without commitment. The wisdom to know that choosing yourself doesn't mean choosing loneliness; it just means being clear about the terms of your availability.

You can want someone around without needing them to stay. You can enjoy someone's presence without making them your possession. You can experience and be experienced without it altering the fundamental direction of your life.

That's not selfish. That's self-aware. That's honest. That's you claiming your space on your own terms.

Until next time,

Tricky Sol