Tricky Sol

When Eric Dane died, I wasn't grieving the man, but something broke anyway. This essay unpacks parasocial grief, what we project onto public figures, and the question that follows: what do you want to represent to the people who'll one day mourn what you made?

Two months after February ended, I close out the Love & Legacy series with the clarity that distance brings. Reflecting on fifteen essays — from Clarence Avant to Quincy Jones to Phylicia Rashad — one thread emerges: legacy is what love does when it refuses to stay private. This isn't a conclusion. It's a commitment to making the format permanent — paying close attention to the people who loved something hard enough to build something lasting.

A teacher told young Stevie he had three strikes against him: blind, Black, poor. He added "bow-legged" to expose the absurdity. This blog explores how Stevie Wonder refused every limitation framework imposed on him, turning perceived disadvantages into strategic advantages, and built one of music's greatest legacies through faith-based creative practice.

Conflict is revelation. It shows you what matters to each person in the relationship. It exposes the tender spots, the non-negotiables, the places where you're most vulnerable. And if you're willing to be curious enough to figure out why those things matter—that's where intimacy lives.

Phylicia Rashad Picture a nine-year-old girl standing in a segregated Houston supermarket in the 1950s, staring at two water fountains. One labeled "For Colored." The other: "For Whites Only." Curiosity got the best of young Phylicia Allen. She wanted to know what that forbidden water tasted like. So she walked over, turned on the whites-only fountain, and drank. The water tasted exactly the same. "I understood that humanity had tricked itself," she would later reflect. "And

Quincy Jones Here's what everyone knows about Quincy Jones: he produced Thriller , the biggest-selling album in human history. He worked with everyone from Count Basie to Frank Sinatra to Michael Jackson. He has 79 Grammy nominations and 27 wins. He helped break MTV's color barrier. He organized We Are The World . He's a living legend. Here's what almost nobody talks about: Quincy Jones built the most sophisticated love-based production system in music history, and he did it

Every time that front door gets slammed, find the back window left open. But here's the revolutionary part: you can make it better than what was behind the door. The back window isn't second-best. Being forced to find another way forces innovation that improves on the original. Clarence Avant didn't just find back windows—he climbed through them and built something better. Rejection becomes information. Barriers become redirects.

His work reminds me that the space I claim for myself isn't given — it's constructed. When I feel that surge of recognition listening to his music, I'm not being reminded of who Michael was. I'm being reminded of who I can become when I stop negotiating with my vision and start executing it.

What is the price of freedom?' Ryan's answer comes in layers. Community—you can't be free alone. Vigilance—stay alert to who's at your door. Gatekeeping—protect what's sacred. Being willing to say no to the money when it comes with chains. But there's another answer: 'Find something you're willing to die for and then live for it.

They were fucked the moment they bought the mule.' In Sinners, the vampires aren't the real threat. The system already had them marked for death. The vampires just sped up what was always going to happen. And if you think that's just about the 1930s, you're not paying attention.

We can't build a future if we don't know what we're building from. We can't reclaim our power if we don't know where that power comes from. Sinners isn't just about vampires in Mississippi. It's Ryan Coogler excavating our inheritance—the music, the magic, the old ways they tried to make us forget. This is what saved us.

"I don't wanna kiss you, I just wanna feel you." This Snoh Aalegra line finally makes sense to me. I want someone to experience life with—palm trees, beach views, Innervisions on replay. Some level of consideration? Yes. But am I taking you into consideration when making decisions about my life's direction? No. And that's not cruel—that's honest. There's a difference between wanting someone and needing them, between experiencing and possessing. I just want you around. Not nee

It's 2026, and despite the chaos, I'm optimistic. Not because everything's perfect, but because we still hold the most radical power there is: the power to decide who we're going to be. Most of us live on autopilot, following scripts we never agreed to. But what if you stopped and asked yourself Olivia Pope's question: "What do you want?" Not what you're supposed to want—what do YOU actually want? This is your life. Your rules. Time to claim it.

The holiday magic you're missing? It was never December itself—it was your parents' labor. Someone stayed up wrapping gifts, building atmosphere, generating that warm frequency. We absorbed it as ambiance. Then we became adults, and nobody handed us the script for creating it ourselves.

I'll be honest; this cycle looked different. Not because the ideas weren't there, but because I've been figuring out what this blog wants to be in real-time. These are personal excavations shaped into something universal. The thread? Your body knows before your brain does. Intelligence lives there first.

I thought my walking practice began in 2019 when panic attacks consumed me. But a Thanksgiving morning walk surfaced an earlier memory: middle school, 6:30 AM weekends, walking alone. Not from crisis, but instinct. My body knew something before my mind had any framework for it. That's where it started—with embodied wisdom I'd somehow forgotten.

Through meditation, a truth emerged: I am the amalgamation of energies from my ancestors. The universe confirmed it through JoJo, Kamala's coconut tree, and thermodynamics. When energy only transforms—never vanishes—we glimpse something profound: our DNA carries ancestral stories, unfinished missions waiting to emerge.

When Zohran Mamdani responded to Cuomo's attacks with 'What I don't have in experience I make up for in integrity,' I knew I'd witnessed something rare—a politician who actually answers questions, has a strategic plan grounded in precedent, and understands that well done is better than well said. NYC's first Muslim and Asian-American mayor isn't just making promises; he's offering lifelines in a landscape of economic anxiety

I used to think my brain could handle anything—doom-scrolling at midnight, absorbing everyone's drama while ignoring my own mental health. Then I realized my mind had become a digital hoarder, running Windows 98 software while trying to process global catastrophes and celebrity gossip simultaneously. Turns out, my brain's fragility wasn't a bug; it was a feature that needed protection.

Every time someone strums a banjo in Nashville or a rock guitar screams through stadium speakers, you're hearing the echo of the greatest heist in cultural history. From the banjo's African origins to rock and roll's Black pioneers, American music was built by Black hands—but the wealth it generated was systematically diverted elsewhere. Recognition without reparation is just another form of exploitation.